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a cultural review magazine

My Neighbors

midnightmind, March 12, 2026March 12, 2026

by Tom Short

In the fraternity,
they shot at us with bb guns,
and we fired back with potato guns.

After graduation, there was
“Downstairs Dave” – a good guy, and
“Upstairs Dave” – a horrible, gun-worshiping
madman, who built models and drove an Aspire.

As I write this, our downstairs neighbor
is continuing the on-going 10 day test of a
new speaker system – I am the only one
who doesn’t listen to house music?

boom, boom, boom

This is better than our last downstairs neighbor
who taught bongos…
we poured water down the heating pipes…

And for one hour straight, on a nice sunday,
I tapped my foot on the wooden floor

thump, thump, thump

I am currently planning revenge
on the current downstairs
neighbors, perhaps I pull the tiles
from the bathroom floor,
and let it ruin the ceiling

who needs a security deposit,
when you can smile in someone
else’s misery…

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