a website original
by Tom Short
I told my mother MC Hammer’s
“Don’t Hurt ’em Hammer”
was a quote from Hammer’s
Mother. It wasn’t. And I am sorry.
The other day I told
a friend, I have seen
Scarface – I have not.
Nor have I read CS Lewis,
though I have told people I have.
He is a hard writer to read…
I have never been to Green Bay,
never visited Wyoming,
and never have I seen Mt. Rushmore,
though at times I have said I have…
Sometimes I tell people I know
Sometimes I tell people I have seen
even though, in truth, my girlfriend pointed out
that he had passed us a block back.
I have never caught a brown trout.
I have never shot a goose.
I have never eaten rabbit,
things I tell people I have done
in the bar,
I have told the truth,
but not when I told that girl from Dallas
that I played High School football.
I was found out, since her cousin went to
I told the editors, I would have this done by now.
And that was a lie, although I may not
One more thing, I have never surf casted. I tried,
and tried and tried,
but couldn’t get the damn thing to work…