by Sean Sullivan
In a sudden about-face to his band’s long-standing pledge, the former front man of Twisted Sister, Dee Snider, announced today that he is going to take it.
“I just decided it was time for a change,” said Snider at an impromptu press conference at Los Angeles’ Venice Beach.
Formed in New York in 1976, Twisted Sister burst onto the public scene in 1987 with the Top 20 album Stay Hungry, which featured, among other hits, the teen angst fight song, “We’re Not Gonna Take It”.
The song was a nation-wide success, prompting thousands of teenage boys to start talking back to their teachers and “laying rubber” in school parking lots.
“I remember the first time I heard it,” said Wallace Gregory, a 29-year old Goodyear mechanic. “I was listening to my walkman on the bus in the morning. Later that day I pulled the school fire alarm for the first time.”
Snider was not the only band member to embrace the change. Mark ‘The Animal’ Mendoza (bass) and Jay Jay French (guitar) also decided it was time to start taking it.
“It was sort of a group decision,” commented French. “Even though we’re broken up, Dee is still our leader. But this is something we all pretty much agreed on.”
“When you get older,” said Snider, nearly unrecognizable to beach passersby without his patented glam garment and face make-up, “you realize that some of the things you didn’t want to take when you were younger are actually not so bad, and in some cases downright necessary in order for society to function.”
“Talk to Sammy Hagar,” agreed Mendoza, “I’ll bet you dollars to doughnuts that, if he tries, he can drive 55 pretty easily, now that he’s had a chance to reflect.”
One dissenting view came from the band’s drummer, Tony Petri, who, in a hurried press release, aimed at the band and the world in general, said simply, “You’re all worthless and weak!”
Some fans at Venice Beach seemed concerned when hearing Snider’s comments. “I think he’s selling out,” said one man in town from Ohio for a comic book convention. “WASP wouldn’t do this.”
Snider, who maintained that he definitely still wants to rock, said most fans will understand.
“I just want to have the freedom to grow as an artist and a person,” said Snider.
Then he jumped up on a bench, thrust his fist in the air, and screamed “I wanna rock!” receiving polite applause from beachgoers and a nearby construction crew.